Approaches to Becoming Friends with Cats: A 5-Step Guide to Earning Their Trust
When first encountering a cat, most people instinctively reach out or speak to it. But from the cat's perspective, this is sudden and unfamiliar behavior. Unlike dogs, cats have independent personalities and need time to build trust.
But that doesn't mean you should give up. By understanding a cat's language and emotional cues and adjusting your approach accordingly, anyone can become friends with a cat.
1. Respect the Cat's ‘Personal Space’
Cats are cautious around strangers.
If you try to get close or pick them up right away, they'll show defensive reactions.
Give a cat you've just met ‘time to observe you’.
- Wait until the cat approaches you on its own
- Avoid eye contact; blink softly (this is a cat greeting!)
- Move slowly and naturally
💡 Tip: If a cat slowly raises its tail or brushes past you, it's a “sign of interest.”
2. Treats are a ‘conversation starter’
For cats, treats aren't just food—they're a tool for building trust.
Start by placing treats farther away, then gradually move them closer to reduce the distance.
- Day 1: Let them just sniff it
- Day 2: Place the treat near your hand
- Once they're comfortable, encourage them to eat it from your palm
However, giving treats too often breaks the treat=reward structure. Once intimacy develops, gradually reduce the frequency.
3. Reading a Cat's Body Language
Cats express emotions through their bodies instead of words.
Understanding this will accelerate your relationship significantly.
Approaching with tail erect: Interest, greeting
Gently staring or extending paw: Curiosity
Ears flattened back: Caution, anxiety
Purring: Comfort, trust
Rubbing against you or bumping heads: Affection. Quietly accept it.
Suddenly biting your hand: Play or caution. Immediately stop your hand and don't react.
4. Building Trust Through ‘Shared Space’
Cats value their own territory.
Therefore, sharing the same space is the starting point for becoming friends.
- Sit near where the cat often stays and read quietly
- Avoid direct touch; make your presence familiar
- Visiting at consistent times helps them recognize you as a “predictable person”
🩵 Important: Even when the cat approaches, don't immediately extend your hand. Let them sniff slowly, then gently stroke with the back of your hand.
5. Physical contact only when the cat permits it
Each cat has different preferred areas for physical contact. Generally, they like:
- Under the chin, behind the ears, on top of the head
- Most dislike the tail or belly
If the cat pushes its head or purrs while being stroked, you're doing it right.
Conversely, if it flinches or lowers its tail, stop immediately.
Becoming friends with a cat is about ‘building a relationship,’ not ‘conquering’ it.
Consistency and respect matter more than speed.
Spend just a few minutes each day being together.
As that time accumulates, one day your cat will come to you first and climb onto your lap. 🐾
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